Still Talkin' 'Bout Race

Lately I notice a lot of comments from people who are tired of everyone talking about race. “Can’t we just get past the race thing?” they ask. “Are we really still talking about race?”

Uh, yes we are, and no we can’t, to answer in reverse order.

It’s comfy and convenient to not talk about race. But the race topic is cleverly disguised as the racism topic. And that monster isn’t going anywhere unless it is consciously and deliberately addressed. It’s a national topic, a global topic, a neighborhood topic, and a schoolyard topic.

The schoolyard is what got my family talking about race. I know from my future-star-reporter daughter that she and her peers compare skin tones and genealogy during recess. A social studies unit on slavery, and another on The Settlers vs. The Indians, got the ball rolling. Suddenly they were talking about race, and who’s darker than whom. She loyally reported her findings – what everyone said, verbatim – as if she and her friends were the first bunch of kids to ever go down that path.

So I wonder if the people who don’t feel the need to talk about race perhaps don’t have children. My own super-liberal pre-children life had very little need for the mention of race. People I hung out with were accustomed to the company of a multi-culti crowd. Living in New York and San Francisco, I was comfortably positioned in the broadest race spectra on the planet. Most of my friends from that era registered fashion and music as labeling identifiers, more than anyone’s racial background. So race didn’t come up, and it didn’t seem to matter. But now that I have children, who have endless questions as well as delicate little egos, I feel the need to talk with them as frankly as I can about race, and about who they are.

For those of us whose families are multiracial, race is always a topic. For most of us, it’s been out in the open since we can remember, either as a quiet constant or a blazing flare, or something in between. What amazes me is how different every multiracial upbringing is. The parents each bring their own histories and attitudes to the mix, and the grandparents and extended families have enormous influence on who we relate to, and who we’re most comfortable with, both inside the family and out in the world. Contemporary memoirs and novels, as well as those going back to the early 1800's, document the diversity of our lives, and are invaluable learning tools for all of us.

As a multiracial person raising curious, inquisitive children, I don’t have the luxury to not talk about race. I’m not feeling the need to stand on a soapbox and shout about it, but the talking and the writing are not going away.

If we’re not talking about race, and a racially motivated incident occurs, we react with shock and horror. But if we’re consciously living with racial awareness, then we’re better equipped to confront and combat racist acts. The end goal is to live peacefully and respectfully, with ourselves and with each other. Right?