I have fielded some remarkable comments on this blog.
I'm going to share two of them here, because the whole point of this thing is to confront the unspoken weirdness that we harbor about race.
A friend I've known for a few years, who grew up in the Midwest and who travels internationally on a regular basis, said: "It never occurred to me that you were black. I figured you had something multiracial or multicultural going on, but I've never thought of you as black."
Someone else, who has known me for most of my life and who has spent time with me and my mother said: "I never thought of your mother as white. Isn't she Spanish? And Jewish?... I think of Anglo-Saxon people as white."
I'm not going to tell you the race of either of these speakers yet.
Because I should explain what my mother looks like, and what I look like.
My mother has long white hair, which she wears in two braids. Her complexion is brunette/Mediterranean. She has a strong nose, cheerful brown eyes.
She lives outside of Woodstock, NY and looks the part.
I look Puerto Rican or Brazilian, I'm told. Light brown skin, very dark eyes, dark curly hair.
My style these days is casual-artsy-mom. Can you see us?
At the time of this posting, I am looking forward to making time for a serious chat with speaker #1, who happens to be white. Here I am again, wondering where my blackness has gone. Is it me? Or has there been a radical shift in our labeling system?
The second speaker is black, born to parents whose families have been in the US for generations. Her tight scope of the white label has my head spinning. It's true that my mother, being the daughter of immigrants, has no personal connection to the legacy of slavery, or the mistreatment of blacks in this country. Is that what makes her non-white? Is Spain a non-white country of origin? I've been all over Spain, and it was pretty darn white. I was considered Cuban there! Maybe it's the Judaism that's not white? But all the Jews I know are white.
Yes, my head is spinning. How about yours?
4 comments:
Well, Melanie, it is all very interesting, that's for sure. I think some friends must be eager to be super polite, just ignore all race stuff? But it is odd that longtime friends wouldn't have at some point asked about both of your parents and your parents parents, just out of the interest one takes in a good friend's whole life. A black friend with whom I have worked in the same office every day for 22 years told me only a few years ago that he has been shocked and embarrassed for me for years when he has heard me describe myself on the phone to a business contact I've never met but am going to have lunch with that he can recognize me because "I'm a middle aged WASP wearing a purple jacket." My friend said his mother told him WASP. was a horrible word, like nigger or kyke. It had never occurred to me at all.
xoxo Doria
You have some BRILLIANT lines here, as usual!
Buy my absolute favorite is:
"Here I am again, wondering where my blackness has gone."
So glad to have found this blog via your post on WNYC. Same racial mix. Same issues with other people's comments. :)
http://meetthepressler.blogspot.com/
Fantastic!! Thanks for commenting. Stay tuned in!
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